Rediscovered Poetry
- Malice Blūm
- Jun 7
- 2 min read
Updated: 7 days ago
The following poems involve self-harm and suicidal ideation. Some readers may find this triggering. Please read with caution.
Pain
Falling down a deep dark hole,
pitch black soup in a rotting bowl.
Fingers twitch in reddish mud,
dead roses and whithered buds.
Spiders crawling up your spine,
webs that stick and pull and twine.
Needles stuck in red-blue veins,
nothing here can stop the pain.
Eyes that hide the years and tears,
hidden between the lines — my fears.
I write both dark and sad in vain,
in them I hide my pain.
Release The Pain
One cut,
two cut,
three cut,
four.
Release the pain
and hurt no more.
One cut,
two cut,
three cut,
four.
Feel the pain —
release then soar.
These are poems I wrote in highschool, when the abuse I suffered was at its worst. I thought I had burned all my poems from that time, I had notebooks filled with dark, gothic, depressing trauma poetry. But I found this tucked away in an old, old box with one other lost and forgotten poem.
The first poem was written during a counselor/parent conference about why my grades were always so bad and what could be done at school and in the home to help me succeed. I wasn't allowed to speak about the abuse, and I was often convinced it was my fault to begin with. So, in a moment of courage—or perhaps insanity—I scribbled this on paper right there in the middle of the meeting—came up with it on the spot as a plea for help, but it was ignored in real time.
The second poem was written before an episode of self harm as a way to express the frustrations of the life and circumstances I was living in, as I actively turned those wrongs in on myself.
For anyone going through depression, or abuse, know that you are not alone. That voice that says soaring is better can sound so seductive in the moment. But you cannot know what lies beyond this storm, or who may be waiting to meet you on the other side.
Below are organizations with people waiting and willing to help. Becaue no one should have to suffer alone.
Crisis support resources:Suicide helpline:
Domestic Violence helpline: --->https://www.thehotline.org/
---> 1800-799-SAFE (1800-799-7233) Domestic and sexual violence helpline: ---> https://nomoredirectory.org/
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